Family honors daughter by speaking about mental health among teenagers

Content warning: This story discusses suicide. 

Just a few weeks ago, the Galeas family was excitedly planning their summer vacation to Costa Rica. 

Sofia Galeas, the youngest of the family, was trying to learn more Spanish so she could speak with her grandparents who live there. 

"She was looking forward to this trip, she couldn't stop talking about it… We asked permission from her music band coach because she wasn't going to be able to practice during the summer," said Pamela Galeas, Sofia's mother. "We never saw this coming."

On May 25th, two weeks after her 16th birthday, Sofia died by suicide. Pamela found what happened on her way home and was devastated because she thought Sofia was doing well.  

Sofia was a popular sophomore at Banning High School in Wilmington, a straight-A student, and a member of the Marching Pilots band. She had enrolled on the wrestling team starting this fall. 

She didn’t show any signs of distress. Even her therapist was in shock after learning the news. Her mother said Sofia was always happy and made sure everyone else was safe and healthy. 

"She thought of others first all the time," said Pamela.  

Overcoming a difficult childhood

Sofia and her sister were adopted by the Galeas family nine years ago when her mother, who is Jose Galeas' sister, couldn't care for them anymore. Pamela said Sofia adapted very well since they have a daughter who is a year older than Sofia. As a child, she was referred to a therapy program and graduated successfully after a few months.

Throughout this time, the family was very impressed with Sofia's enthusiasm and enjoyment of life.

About eight months ago, Sofia returned to therapy after an incident. Her adoptive parents wanted to prevent any relapse. She was doing very well to the point that her therapist was about to move her sessions from weekly to monthly.

"She was so happy the day before [the tragedy]. She even went to a school event," said Pamela. 

Sofia's friends were equally shocked because she was very open about the topic of mental health. The friends told Pamela that a while back, Sofia helped a friend who she saw was hurting herself. Sofia stepped up and told school staff about it. She and the other student became very good friends because of her intervention. 

"We always tell our kids if you see something, say something because mental health here is a big issue for them. So we always talked about it," Pamela said.  

Hidden depression 

After the tragedy, the family learned that Sofia probably had "smiling depression", meaning that even though she showed happiness all the time, on the inside she was depressed. Although this is not identified as a condition in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, it may be diagnosed as a major depressive disorder with atypical features, indicates Healthline, a health information site in the U.S. 

Frances Chinchilla-Orellana, psychotherapist and AltaMed Behavioral Health Services Supervisor, said it is common for teenagers to fall into depression.  

Causes of teenage depression include seeking peer acceptance, comparing themselves with others, and seeing social media ideas of what they should look or act like, all influencing their self-esteem. 

"There's a lot of bullying that happens, not only in person, but now it's extended into social media …cyberbullying…so it follows them home," said Chinchilla-Orellana.

In other cases, it can include the aspect of first-generation Americans that create a cultural divide between teenagers and their parents. The cultural values, ideas and expectations often clash against each other. 

The therapist said if teenagers or young children see their peers feeling sad or with intentions of harming themselves, it is important to be there for them but not intend to save them. 

"We have seen some teenagers that have friends who are struggling with their mental health and these teenagers also start to struggle with their mental health and feel like this sense of responsibility over their friends' well being. And the reality is, it's not their job to save them," she said.

The most teenagers can do is listen and speak to the adults in the student’s support system about the situation and get them connected to the right support. If needed, it is also important to share their concerns about their friends' mental health with school staff and school staff. 

Honoring Sofia's life

Pamela said the family was impacted by seeing the amount of support they have received from the community and that it was very nice to see that Sofia was a very loved student at school. Pamela said that although they were and are still grieving Sofia's death, they want to keep her memory alive. They are willing to speak about the situation openly in an effort to prevent this from happening to more teenagers.  

The Galeas are often questioned about Sofia's access to a gun, and although they don't have the answers, they also refuse to let her name go in vain.

"I don't want to hide the fact that we did not know, we did not see it coming and there has to be a lot of families that go through this. I know it’s not just us," Pamela said. 

Because Sofia's motto was to see everyone else happy, the Galeas decided to continue with their vacation trip to honor her name. On their return, they hope to start working with Banning High School to raise awareness about this topic and create a scholarship in Sofia's name. They want to hold fundraisers to support the scholarship, which will be given to Marching Pilots members to pay for their schooling or uniforms. 

Chinchilla-Orellana said help is always available. If you or someone you know is experiencing mental health problems, call the 988 hotline. Help is also available in Spanish. 

AltaMed offers behavioral health services for teenagers through its School-Based Programs in some schools in the southeast Los Angeles area and Orange County. The services include individual short-term counseling, stress management, grief and loss, and referrals for long-term counseling. For more information, call (855) 425-1777.